Remember back in January when I said I wanted to do a figure competition? And I started eating lots more food? And I worked out hardcore all the time?
And have you noticed how I haven’t been talking about working out much lately? And how I haven’t said anything about a fitness competition in awhile? Ha. I figured it was about time I give an update on all of that.It all started with a desire to push myself out of my comfort zone, to do something I NEVER thought I could or would ever do. Erik and I had been lifting for awhile and I was discovering that I was stronger than I thought I could be and I could push myself harder than I thought I could, and I loved it.
After announcing to the whole world in January via Lesley Lifting Life that I wanted to do this competition, I was very excited with full intentions of competing. But from the beginning, it also just kind of felt off. I pushed aside those feelings for quite some time because I thought I might just be scared of stepping out of my comfort zone, and also because I knew I had a lot of time to mull around with all of this before I could actually compete anyways. A couple things happened in life that kind of made us take a break from lifting (example: moving to a different house and working to get our other house rented out!) and after taking a step back and getting a bird’s eye view of the situation I was able to question my motivations and realized something. I was no longer doing this competition for me but for everyone else and for all the wrong reasons. I no longer needed to prove to myself I was strong or that I could do anything I set my mind to, I already had. After all, I went from benching the 45 lb bar to 135 lbs, what more proof did I need??
I guess the more I got into the whole competition phase, the more I didn’t feel true to who I strive to be. The more I got into it, the more it became all about ME, the more I started comparing myself to everyone else, the more it became about physical appearance and vanity. Thus, my decision to forget about the whole figure competition scene and move on to things I feel are more important.
I definitely appreciate all the work those who do compete put into workouts and meals each and every day but it’s just not me.
I don’t workout nearly as often (in fact, confession, I haven’t even really “worked out” in at least two months), but of course I still love staying active and all things health and fitness : ]
Have you ever said you were going to do something that you decided not to go through with?