The days leading up to her birth I was doing everything I could to try and get this thing started! A few weeks prior at around 38 weeks, I had developed PUPPS rash which made those last few weeks very itchy, frustrating and uncomfortable. Some even get induced due to PUPPS because it can become so uncomfortable and goes away after giving birth. Pictured below is the PUPPS on my hand. Imagine that on just about every part of your body. Yeah, not fun.
Contractions were getting closer together, 8-9 minutes apart so Becky decided she'd begin her hour journey to St Joe from KC. At that point, I decided to eat, try to drink plenty of water and get my last minute stuff together for hospital. Becky arrived around 8:30 and we took another walk, sat on the birthing ball, etc to try and help things along and contractions were about 5 mins apart.
At about 9:30 we called our midwife, Casey, to give her a heads up and around that time I had bloody show. Becky suggested we lay down to get some rest since it was probably going to be a long night so from about 10:45 to 1:45 we all laid down and tried to sleep. In hindsight I would have tried to rest better but between trips to the bathroom, and timing my contractions worrying that they would slow way down, I don't think I slept at all!
At 1:45, contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart and we headed to the hospital.
At about 2:30 we got all set and I was checked. At that point I was 5/6 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Fetal monitoring was intermittent so after first check, Erik, Becky and I walked around the maternity ward for about 30 minutes again to keep things moving. For the next few hours, Becky encouraged me to get in different positions and she put pressure and a warm rice bag on my back through contractions to help with pain. I sat on a.birthing ball, on the toilet, in bed, stood up leaning on Erik, etc. I was pretty well able to stay in control during these contractions and while getting intense, I was still focused. As the time went on and the contractions grew more powerful, I began getting very tired. At about 4:37, contractions were 2-3 minutes apart lasting 1-1 1/2 minutes.
At 5:45 am, I'm 100% effaced, 6-7 cm dilated. During this whole time I tried to drink a lot of water and juice to keep energy but with no sleep at all, I feel like my energy was very low.
Around 6:45, I'm super tired, feel rather out of it and contractions get way more intense as transition is here. At that point, my modesty is completely out the window, I couldnt talk to anyone and it was like I was in a different world. I hated moving to different positions but Becky encouraged it so things would keep progressing. In hindsight, I'm so thankful for the gentle prodding because I'm quite sure it helped Emersyn arrive quicker. Standing up and sitting on the toilet were most intense so she encouraged me to do those two things frequently. I didn't have enough energy to argue and I knew that I may as well get it over with, so to speak, because these contractions were gonna happen whether I wanted them to or not!
At some point in all this as I began strong active labor I began to moan through contractions. I always thought I would be silent but once they became so intense, I just knew I had to moan ha. I tried remembering things from books I had read, namely Ina May's Complete Guide to Childbirth. Becky had told me and I had read that deep moaning type sounds help open up the cervix so I was all for it! I hadn't imagined myself being "loud" but in order to stay focused and not fight my contractions, I had to moan and it just came naturally to me at the time to do so.
My main "mantra" or thought going in was to simply trust the process and accept the contractions instead of fight them, remembering that my body was made for this very normal and natural experience.
At 7:30 am, I'm on the bed on my hands and knees working through more contractions and periods of rest and I felt a pop inside of me and quickly realized that had been my water breaking. At this point, I'm making progress and I'm 8 cm dilated. I continue changing positions even tho I do NOT want to. As my tiredness overcame me and contractions got longer and more intense I remember a defining moment where I didn't feel like I could do it much longer. I was encouraged to stand for a few contractions and I was waiting for another to pass before I stood. It was so intense and the moaning wasn't helping as much anymore.
As the next super intense contraction overcame my body, I made eye contact with Becky and she held my gaze throughout it. I think the only way I made it through that one was to keep our eye contact. Something about that moment allowed me to stay focused as I added gently hitting my fists on the bed and rocking in a rhythm to my moaning. I think around then I said simply "ow, it hurts" which was about the only think I really spoke during labor aside from moaning. It was also a gross understatement, ha, but I simply had to give all of my attention to the contractions instead of talking or I knew I would have mentally given up.
This intense moaning and rhythmic movements through contractions continued throughout the duration of labor and I was SO ready for baby to come. Finally at 12:04, I was completely dilated and I had the urge to push and pushing began! I moaned and hollered with each push and mustered up every bit of the strength I had left in me. Casey talked about seeing the head and adrenaline overcame me since I was truly at the end and I was more determined than ever to get that baby out!
She was then born at 12:35 pm.
She came right up to my chest and almost right away began nursing. I was SO exhausted and completely out of it! I felt loopy and though I had a drug free labor, I sure felt like I was drugged up ha.
All I could do was smile though as I took in the sight of this beautiful little girl who had been growing inside of me for the past nine months!
Emersyn Lila Borger, 8 lbs 5 ounces, 21 inches long, born on September 1st at 12:35 pm.
Thanks
And just to put this out there, we can't thank everyone enough who was there supporting us! Our
doula, Becky Broce, was so helpful from the moment we hired her. She was willing to do anything for us, answer any question at any time, and I always felt like she was truly on our side to give her undivided support and encouragement which helped so much to put me at ease especially when my labor began. I almost didn't get a doula but now I know I couldn't have done it without her!
Next, our
midwife, Casey Wagner. Originally, we wanted to give birth at a birthing center and even throughout the pregnancy I strongly debated switching to New Birth Company in Kansas City. But since we lived an hour away and our insurance wouldn't cover it, we stayed at Heartland Hospital with their Certified Nurse Midwife, Casey. We both really liked her from the get go, and I always felt like she was also completely there for us, taking the time to listen to our concerns. I felt assured throughout the whole pregnancy and birth that she really truly cared and would do anything she could to help us have the birth experience we wanted. I know that hospitals oftentimes have a bad rapport when it comes to unnecessarily interfering with natural births but we found out that's certainly not always the case.
For anyone in the KC/St Joseph area, they both come highly recommended by us!
** Birthing photos taken by our doula Becky Broce **
